


Look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide

by ASelTay1DHP



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Siblings, canon compliant death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 19:17:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20263180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASelTay1DHP/pseuds/ASelTay1DHP
Summary: We saw Sansa and Theon’s reunion but what about Arya’s? How does she react?Basically, a one-shot focusing on what I wanted to see of Arya and Theon with a bit of Sansa. Between the scenes in 8x02 and post 8x06. Canon compliant.





	Look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide

**Author's Note:**

> It might be OCC but I just wanted Arya and Theon to meet. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to slip in more characters so it’s only the ones in the tags.   
SPOILERS ALERT for the whole show including 8x06 but mostly 8x02.   
It’s only show!verse since I haven’t read the books yet.   
English is not my first language so excuse me any mistakes.  
TW - not sure how much of triggers they are but just in case: post-Ramsay Theon (but nothing major), talk about Ramsay and also mentions of loneliness at the end, if someone needs a warning for that.  
It’s canon compliant major character’s death. (Not saying who it is because I don’t want to spoil but if you watched 8x02, you know what to expect.)  
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize (characters, places, ect.) belongs to HBO, D&D, GRRM and whoever else owns them.  
And title credits go to Imagine Dragons.

Sansa and Arya were chatting while sitting on the bed in the older sister’s bedchamber. After Littlefinger was killed, it became their new almost daily habit. They finally caught up each other on their journeys since they parted in King’s Landing all those years ago. Of course some things were too painful and some just better not talked about but nonetheless they were glad to be slowly building strong sisterhood that they barely had when they were children. 

“I hate him for what he did,” Arya stated vehemently yet somehow at the same time in a calm way when she heard that Theon Greyjoy came back and asked her sister to let him fight for their home. And it made Sansa once again realize how changed her sister was. She used to be so hotheaded and all bark and rarely truly bite but now she was barely even talking most of the time and she was a deadly assassin who could do whatever she wanted. “I don’t understand how you could even forgive him so easily and let him stay at Winterfell-“

“I didn’t at first. But he helped me escape Ra-him,” Sansa interrupted passionately, “I would have died, if he hadn’t pushed Myranda off and wasn’t encouraging me to keep going.” She took a shaky breath and added in quieter and much calmer voice, “I hated him too but you haven’t seen him. He was so broken.”

“He betrayed Robb-“

“You should have seen him. The way he believed he was Reek... Out of all the cruel things I’ve seen and experienced, it was probably one of the worst. But even then I didn’t forgive him. I think it was only after we met with Brienne and Podrick.”

“I killed people for less than he did,” Arya stated offhandedly and a shiver went down Sansa’s spine. 

“Don’t kill him. He hates himself more than you or anyone else ever could. And to me he already paid for what he’s done.”

Younger girl nodded but said nothing. She still wasn’t sure how she was going to react when she met him. They seat in comfortable silence until Sansa decided to break it again, “you know Arya, when I think about it, you two are kind of similar.“

“What? Me and that Turncoat?”

“I reckon, if you gave him a chance, you could really understand him. If anyone could, it would probably be you. I mean you were both stripped off your identities and abused, tortured or whatever you want to call it. And you lost sight and he his you know- that,” she looked down meaningfully. 

“I won’t kill him for now,” Arya promised, “but I’m not going to talk with him either.”

***

Ever since she came back, Arya would try to avoid people as much as she could so with preparations for the war with the Night King and his army that meant her practice of water dancing took place near the kennels. The only location she was fairly sure no one would be visiting. However after about an hour her trained in constant vigilance let her notice when someone approached. She looked up and acknowledged the person standing few steps from her, “Theon Greyjoy.”

“I’m s-sorry, Lady Ar-arya-,“ stuttering voice of a man once so confident and cocky reached her ears, “I didn’t m-mean t-to interrupt. I c-can leave-“

“I’m not a Lady,” she answered and took a good look at him from head to toe. Apart from characteristic Greyjoy features, she could barely tell that this was the same man that she grew up with what seemed like a lifetime ago. He was staring at the floor to avoid her gaze and was hunched over trying to make himself look smaller. The girl wasn’t sure of the reason but she noticed that he was also trembling slightly. She now understood better what her sister was talking about. The man that stood in front of her wasn’t Theon she used to know but a shadow created by Ramsey Bolton’s presence in his life. “Sansa pleaded your case so you might live for now. But I want you to remember that I could easily kill you. Do not betray us. Ever.” She put the Needle back on her belt and walked a few steps in his direction but halted when he started to back away, “what are you doing here?”

“I-I’m sorry I left my s-sword here.”

“So it’s true? You’re leaving here?”

“I u-used to. Lady Sansa was kind en-enough to give m-me a b-bedchamber but I d-don’t deserve it. I already h-have a room here,” explained Theon with his eyes constantly gravitating towards his living space slightly to the girl’s left. 

“It’s more of a cage though, isn’t it?” 

Absentmindedly he answered with what he knew would be the only answer Ramsey would accept, “it’s what Reek d-deserves.” Arya looked at him sharply and he straightened a bit when he realized his whereabouts and company. 

“I h-heard it’s where my M-mast-Ramsay died,” Theon tried to distract her by changing the subject. 

“Sansa said she fed him to his hounds,” glint of pride shined in assassin’s eyes. 

“It’s what he deserved,” stated the young man with hardness so uncharacteristic for his new self. And just as the Arya thought so, his body shrunk back and he looked at the ground.

“You know, when I feel myself slipping,” the girl began steadily, barely above whisper and although Theon didn’t know, he didn’t dare to ask what she was talking about. ”I repeat to myself over and over again that ‘I’m Arya Stark of Winterfell’ and I think of our home, of Father, Mother, Jon, Robb, Bran, Rickon and Sansa and I keep my Nee- something to remember it all by close. And I say it until I feel like it’s true. You might want to try this when you need to get a grip.” When she glanced at him, she noticed that for the first time since he entered, he was looking directly at her, “I’ll see you in the strategy meeting,” and she left him there. 

***

Sansa and Theon had been sitting all evening with people from all over the world and were grasping the last hours before the battle. As soon as the young woman went to get them something to eat, insisting that the man should wait for her since he should regenerate after the journey and before the war, he noticed people throwing him looks and whispering. He wasn’t sure whether he was being paranoid or they really were judging him. 

“I’m Theon Greyjoy, son of Balon Greyjoy, brother of Yara, raised in Winterfell with and by the Starks. I owe them to fight for them so I get to be here. I’m Theon Greyjoy, son of-“

“What are you doing?” Sansa interrupted him as she approached holding two bowls of soup. 

Theon stood up to take one from her, sent her a grateful smile and explained, “Arya told me how she repeats words like these to herself so I thought I would give it a try.” 

“You talked with her? And was she decent?” There was a hint of surprise in her voice. She was sure her sister listened to nobody but clearly she was wrong. When she asked her, she was just hoping to let him live, not try to help him by revealing something so personal.

“Yes, she said you asked her to be civil.”

“I did,” Sansa smiled genuinely, ”but I didn’t think she would be that nice.” They seat in silence for a bit when she added, “You know you don’t have to prove anything to us? You are a Greyjoy and a Stark-“

“I want to help protect Bran,” Theon told her passionately. 

***

Arya looked around to see the Others fall and glanced to the scattered pieces of what used to be the Night King. She picked up the Catspaw and looked at Bran, “are you okay? Did any of them hurt you?”

“No,” her brother answered with his voice void of any emotions but for the first time since they reunited, when he looked at her, she thought he was only seeing her and not things happening thousand miles or years ago.

“Is it really over?”

“Yes. You did it. People will start coming here soon.”

She nodded and walked over to her another somewhat brother, “Theon?” she knew there was no way he could have survived but she had to be sure. She kneeled next to his corpse carefully avoiding bloody snow and closed his eyes. 

***

Few hours after the Night King was defeated, Arya decided to check on Sansa. She knocked on the bedchamber’s door but after hearing no answer, she opened them to see her older sister laying on the bed on her back with a pillow over her head. The younger sister walked in, closed the door and seat down next to the redhead.

Sansa was crying and Arya wasn’t sure how to console her. They were closer now than ever but that didn’t make the matters much easier. The assassin still wasn’t an expert when it came to the feelings, “sometimes death can be a friend.”

The older sister lifted the pillow up slightly and snorted incredulously, “Really? How?” 

Arya wasn’t really sure but she wanted help her sibling, “some people have suffered through too much too ever find peace on Earth,“ she patted her sister on her left arm awkwardly, “I was sneaking into the Godswood when he was killed. The way Bran spoke to him we knew, he would die and by the look on his face I could say he was ready. He really did make up for all his mistakes in the end. But I’m sorry you lost him.”

Sansa shifted to laying on her side, “it’s not even like I should care that much. I’m just so selfish. I spent years hating him but he understood, you know? He was one of the only one who lived through Ramsey and was still alive,” she dried off her tears with the back of her hand and seat up, “ I just want someone I can speak freely to.”

“Look, I know I’m not the easiest to have a conversation like that with but I can listen,” younger sister promised, “I may seem tough but I still remember what it’s like to lose people close to me.”

***

Sansa was standing on the rampart staring at the courtyard below her. She was reminiscing how in this exact place her path to freedom began. Many months, two battles later and she has finally, only few hours earlier, came out of the Great Hall as officially the first queen in the North. 

When she was little, it was one of her dreams but never even in the wildest ones, had she ever thought she would become a ruler without a husband. However, after everything that she has suffered through, she didn’t know, if the North would ever even have a King as long as she reigns. 

Sansa believed that wherever they are, her parents, Robb, Rickon and Theon were proud of her. She managed to regain independence for their kingdom and now she hoped to become a good queen. She has watched and learned a lot from so many people. She was taught both, the qualities she wanted to present and the ones she hoped to never obtain. Regardless of how King’s Landing treated her, Cersei, Maergery, Joffrey, Tywin and others were amazing learning experience. 

But even though she became the queen today, she couldn’t help that sinking feeling in her chest. She knew she wasn’t truly happy because she was all alone once again. Sometimes she regretted her decision to play Jon and Tyrion but she knew, if she could do it again, she would do it exactly the same way. They both came mostly unscathed out of it so she didn’t allow herself to feel too much guilt. Daenerys had to be eliminated and Sansa was glad to gain her queenship for that. But the loneliness still lingered and she knew that it would for some time. 

Arya, Jon, Bran, Brienne, Podrick, Tyrion. None of them were here today, even though they could have be. 

Father, Mother, Robb, Rickon, Theon and many loyal servants from when she was a child. They couldn’t be here simply because they were dead. But Sansa hoped that in a way they were here today. She knew they would have been proud of her. 

Many times recently Sansa was catching herself almost giving in to the dark thoughts sneaking into her head, ‘does anyone even care about me still?’ But whenever it happened, she remembers how after Jon left, Tyrion found her and told her how her cousin didn’t want to kill Daenerys and was only convinced after he was reminded that his sisters, especially her, would be in danger. How Arya didn’t just forget her promise but apologized and explained that she couldn’t stay in Westeros at least for now. How Sansa was sure that Bran would ‘watch’ her and especially important moments in her life like today’s coronation. How Brienne made sure Sansa was alright with her leaving to become the Commander of the Kingsguard and Podrick saying a little awkwardly that he wants to stay in King’s Landing too. Sansa knew they all loved her and although that didn’t erase that awful feeling of loneliness, she was happy for them and wished then all the best.

Because unfortunately that’s what always happens, when you focus too much on the goal, you forget how much you’ll have to sacrifice to achive it. And Sansa got what she wanted. She was a queen, the North was free and the Six Kingdoms had a great king. If loneliness was the price she had to pay then so be it. It wasn’t worse than what she has been through already and she was sure that she would make new friends and the old ones and her family might come visit. She would just enjoy her current life to the fullest.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know what it is with Sansa that she sneaks into all my works. I don’t even really like her but well, here she is with another ending from me. 
> 
> I’m sorry it was OOC :( I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Please leave kudos and/or comment :)


End file.
